just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Farmville is her only friend.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize