SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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