Im at strip club and am horny
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
