You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
