Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
