what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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