I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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