So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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