If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
