I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize