break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
