we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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