I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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