I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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