garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
