Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
