Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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