I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
