Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
