So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
