he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
