I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This is my gift to your gina
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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