Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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