At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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