4 words: hood of his car
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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