After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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