let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
