I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
