I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
