i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
