when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
