I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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