He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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