If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
