just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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