as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
