Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just gift wrapped bread.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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