return my video game
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
