She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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