just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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