so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
