I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
