They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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