Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
