I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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