Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
