you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
