Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
