No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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