just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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