FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
