You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
