So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
