My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
