You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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