Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
