I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
