this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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