Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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