My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
