When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
