There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
